MAKE ACTION FIGURES GREAT AGAIN
We've been making lame, sissy action figures for years but now we are finally ready to take presidential toy making to the next level. We are proud to introduce the new Donald Trump Action Figure - literally the greatest action figure ever made!
DESIGNED FOR AWESOME
HELP US HELP YOU
We're not asking for help here. That's not our style. We are crowdfunding, which is totally different. Here's how it works; If we pre-sell $15,000 worth of Trumps by Election Day, we'll go into mass production and the final product will be delivered to everyone before Trump's inauguration or January 20, 2017; whichever comes first. You can take that to the bank!
In the meantime, we're not just sitting around twiddling our thumbs. We're employing bleeding-edge technology to make this happen yesterday! Look we've already digitized him!
STOP YOUR WHINING
Ever since we floated the idea of turning Donald Trump into an action figure, we've heard a lot of whining from people who didn't like the idea; mostly losers who had bought our Bernie and Hillary action figures on Kickstarter.
Guys, we hear you and we're sorry but you're fired. We will find new customers who have balls. But thanks for all your money.
THE ART OF THE TOY
Like most artists, our sculptor, Mike Leavitt is pretty out there. When we first contacted him about this project, he wasn't so sure he wanted to do it. He said his heart wasn't it it, like it was with Bernie. So we offered him a big fat royalty and what do you know - one week later he gave us the best sculpture he's ever made in his whole life. Now you can own a plastic replica of that sculpture. This is why America is great.
MADE IN CHINA SHUT UP
Yes, these action figures will be made in China. But seriously, can everyone just shut up about that already?
The fact is that China manipulates their currency so much that it makes it almost impossible for American toy factories to compete. So now there are none. We may have ideals but we're not idiots. We're trying to run a successful business here.
HEY MEXICO, YOU'RE WELCOME
Five percent of the profits from every Trump Action Figure will go to Border Angels, a pretty questionable charity that should probably be looked into. It provides illegal Mexican immigrants with drinking water and medical assistance, which they really should have to pay for themselves.
But we think it's a good PR move so we'll send them some money. Whatever. You're welcome.
Buy low. Sell high. You can take that advice to the bank. And here's your opportunity to live it. These action figures are destined to become collectors items following the elections and right now you're getting in on the ground floor. No investment is surefire but this is about as close as you can get.
Order more than one figure and you will get FREE SHIPPING.
Is the Trump Action Figure Shipping Now?
YES. We are now shipping all orders!
This is kind of like a Kickstarter campaign minus the Kickstarter. We took preorders and made the product as fast as we could!
What happens if you don't hit the $15,000 goal?
We won’t make Trump and we will issue full refunds to everyone who preordered one.
How do I know I can trust you?
We're a Google Trusted store. They trust us so much that they'll guarantee your order up to $1000! Look here.
Assuming the project hits its goal, when are the figures actually shipping?
We had some production delays. We blame China. Trump Action Figures are now shipping! Shipping notifications will be rolling out - don't worry, it's coming!
What if I'd rather wait until you have them in hand before I order?
That's fine but we can't guarantee we will have one for you. We can only guarantee we will make enough to fill all the preorders.
If I order now, will you charge my credit card?
What if I change my mind?
We'll give you a refund. No questions asked. *All preorders are now in production and shipping out. If you are unsatisfied after receiving your Trump Action Figure you may pursue a product return.
If I ordered a bundle with Trump, will I get the other figures now?
No. Bundles that include Trump will ship complete by Inauguration Day. Bundles cannot be broken into separate shipments.
Is the Trump Action Figure eligible for free shipping?
Yes, but only if your total order is greater than $25.
What if I want to buy the toy but I don't want to support Border Angels?
Sorry Charlie. We've got a cause.